Whatever

Yesterday I joined the ranks of returning holiday-makers whose only desperate thought as they turn on their PC is about the sheer scale of their creaking email inbox. I was only away for a week, but in that short space of time I had accumulated nearly 550 of the little monsters. Before you think I’m bragging, let me say categorically I am not. In fact I felt deflated. Nay, I felt I needed another holiday. I’m pretty sure I’m not the first to pass comment on this first-day-back siege. Neither will I be the last, but various discussions with friends about this curse of modern life have been illuminating. I’ve learned that there are those – I’m talking about men here – who equate the size of their inbox with the size of their ‘box’ in general. The bigger the better. Emails equal importance. The more you have, the more indispensable you are. You are the top dog. This is frankly ridiculous. It’s about time these simpletons grew up. Anyone who saw my pre-holiday out-of-office message will have noted the slightly brusque manner in which I begged on bended knee not to be mailed: “I’m now on holiday. If you get this email, can you please refrain from sending any more till after I get back. I get absolutely deluged, and it'll help me deal with your query sooner.” Other people I’ve talked to, however, think it’s me who is ridiculous. "How could you possibly wait till you get back to check your emails?" commented one aghast friend. "I find it much less stressful if I log on for 10 minutes every day and delete or pass on what’s come in. Then I can get on with my holiday knowing that nothing’s going on I need to worry about." I’m as shocked as they are, but I’m saddened too. Is this the future of holidays? What misery if it is. As much as I loathe the predictable monotony of the morning back, I wouldn’t swap it for the intrusion into my holiday that checking my emails daily would involve. Call me old-fashioned, but holiday is holiday. And, if you do get back to someone too late, you can always use the problem that email creates to your advantage. "Oh, I’m still going through my inbox" I can comfortably say – even if it’s two or three days later. Well, if you can’t beat it, you might as well use it to your advantage!